christian divorce & remarriage
The sentence, “God hate’s divorce” may be found in about half of the translations of Malachi 2:16, which establishes a pretty good case for how he feels on the subject. God only allowed it, according to Jesus, because of their “hardness of heart” (Matthew 19:8). The plan from the beginning was for marriage between one man and one woman to be a lifelong commitment; one not to be entered into or ended lightly. Many Christian marriage ceremonies include the words from Genesis 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (See also Ephesians 5:31 and Mark 10:8.) Malachi reiterated God’s position in an address to husbands who capriciously sued for divorce. Women, of his time and even much later when Jesus spoke on the subject, had little or no say in the matter. Obviously, times have changed. Unmarried women may be self-sufficient and wives are no longer considered a husband’s possession under the law.
Divorce may have been permitted under Jewish Law, but Jesus left no doubt that it violated God’s original intent. The New Testament teaches both the person who initiates the divorce as well as the person he or she remarries is guilty of adultery. A person unwillingly being divorced is considered a “victim of adultery” unless his or her sexual misconduct prompted it. In his Sermon on the Mount, which was addressed specifically to his followers, Jesus proclaimed, “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32 NIV). The gender differentiation is likely a reflection of the prevailing culture, rather than Jesus advocating unequal treatment of women.The thought here is the couple is still married in God’s eyes. The two remain one flesh.
Later, in response to the Pharisees who asked if divorce was permissible for any reason, Jesus expanded on his original response, “. . . at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:4-6, 9). Luke quoted Jesus as saying, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Luke 16:18). Notice Luke omitted the “sexual immorality” condition. Perhaps it was because he assumed his readers already knew that was a valid reason, since Mark was likely the source of some of his material. Jesus, in effect, declared the writ of divorce ineffective in protecting Jews and Christians, alike, from breaking the seventh commandment, “You shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14). (Please see also Mark 10:2-12 and 1Corinthians 7:10-11.)
The Scripture should leave no doubt in a serious Bible student’s mind that divorce by believing partners is against God’s original intent for marriage. And remarriage causes one or both of the parties to sin. If Jesus’s followers simply accepted this fact and chose to avoid divorce as conscientiously as they do the prohibition against theft or murder, this topic would likely be irrelevant. Unfortunately that is not the case in contemporary America. Critics often cite statistics indicating Christian divorce rates parallel that of the general population. However, Glenn Stanton concluded, “Many people who seriously practice a traditional religious faith – be it Christian or other – have a divorce rate markedly lower than the general population.” Professor Bradley R.E. Wright, a sociologist at the University of Connecticut reported 60% of people who identify as Christians but rarely attend church have been divorced. Of those who attend church regularly, 38 percent have been divorced. Barna Group reported, the population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced are Catholics (28%) and evangelicals (26%). Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced.” It is apparent that people who are serious about practicing their faith are equally serious about avoiding sin, including that resulting from divorce and remarriage.
1 Glenn Stanton, Focus on the Family website, “Divorce Rate in the Church – As High as the World?”(http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about/focus-findings/marriage/divorce-rate-in-the-church-as-high-as-the-world, accessed January 22, 2019)
2 Bradley R.E. Wright, Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites … and Other Lies You’ve Been Told, Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House, 2010, p. 133.)
3 Barna Institute, New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released, http://www.barna.com/research/new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released, accessed January 22, 2019.
Shawn's View
I am admittedly making an argument from biblical silence in concluding divorce severs a marriage without sin as long as believing parties remain unmarried and celibate. If divorce broke the Seventh Commandment, God would not have allowed it for practically any reason in Old Testament times. Furthermore, it appears that the act of remarriage, not the union, itself, constitutes the sin of adultery. I have drawn this conclusion from Jesus’s interaction with the woman caught in adultery ( John 8) and the woman at the well (John 4.) If anything beyond repentance (turning from sin) was required, Jesus presumably would have made that point to one or both of them. Some sincere Christians believe that the appropriate remedy is for the first couple to divorce their new spouse(s) and remarry. I disagree.
The first thought that comes to mind is what if either person from the original marriage is not interested in divorcing their new spouse and/or marrying the first one? Even more problematic is the unfair penalty imposed on the second spouse (See 2 Samuel 13-16), especially if he or she was not previously married. They then become true “victims of adultery.” Setting aside the practical difficulties, such as children, inherent in divorcing a second spouse and returning to the original, the action ignores the very heart of the gospel—grace and forgiveness. Our God forgives and reconciles to himself all who repent. When others are involved, undoing mistakes may be more harmful than leaving it with God. So, if two professed Christians have divorced and one or both have remarried, what, if anything, must they do to make it right?
Marrying the first spouse was forbidden in the Old Testament. “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
I suggest the answer lies in believing that God’s love for us is stronger than his feelings about divorce. Making it right with God requires repenting of the sin that resulted from remarriage and committing to make the second marriage one that lasts a lifetime. The New Testament is full of passages of Scripture relating to repentance and forgiveness. In the interest of space we shall consider only three, beginning with 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” The second is Ephesians 2:8-9. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” God’s grace makes it right, not anything else we might do. Finally, we read in 1 John 2:1-3, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”
Marriages disintegrate for a host of reasons. Where abuse, addiction or abandonment is present, a strong case may be made for dissolution. Remarriage is considered by some to be willful sin. But, technically, isn’t all sin willful? People do not normally leave a marriage in the expectation of remarriage, but should they find another believing person to love, marrying ought not be viewed as being different from any other sin. However, repentance is a facet of forgiveness and the second marriage must be considered indissoluble. Repentant, remarried couples have no reason for shame. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1-2)
guest's view
According to 1 Corinthians 7:10-11. “The wife is not to leave her husband, nor is the husband to divorce her. If she does leave she must either remain unmarried or be reconciled to him.” Elsewhere, the apostle Paul asserted, “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord”(1 Corinthians 7:39). And in Romans 7:2-3, he reminds the Church in Rome, “The “law” binds a woman to her husband as long as he is alive, and if she marries anyone else while he is alive, she is an adulteress.” The writer of Matthew appears to have added one exception to the general rule regarding divorce. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9) The original couple remain in a one-flesh union until death.
The so-called “Matthean exception appears to say that remarriage is adultery in every case except when a person divorces his (or her) mate for their adultery. Extending this somewhat, it could then also logically mean that if a divorce occurred and one of the partners proceeded to remarry, then that adulterous remarriage severed the bond, leaving the remaining partner free to also remarry. I disagree based on the language used. Jesus was not talking about divorcing a woman for adultery. In Jewish law, a woman who was guilty of adultery did not need to be divorced: she was stoned to death (e.g., John 8:3f.). This situation was not a point of controversy among the rabbis. To them, one was of course free to remarry if one’s wife committed adultery: because she was no longer alive! What he is really saying that the only time you could divorce a person with whom you were joined and marry someone else without committing adultery is if your partner were not a true wife to begin with, such as would be the case of sex with a prostitute or where the couple lived together. The New Testament does not equivocate on the matter. Marriage vows are for the life of at least one of the original partners.
Yet, divorce involving believers happens with alarming frequency. What should be done to make things right? The attitude necessary for the church to take in this matter is that the marriage bond — if a true bond to begin with — is indissoluble because it is sealed by God Himself. And only He can break it — by death. A man or woman may never bind themselves to another mate, while the first spouse is alive, without becoming guilty of adultery, and the only solution is to obey the guidance given by the couple’s religious leaders. Their decision might include divorcing the second spouse and remarrying the original, or simply remaining unmarried according to the apostle’s command in 1 Corinthians 7:10.
The problem with all of this biblical analysis and biblical solutions is that the supernaturally rich and satisfying Christianity of the New Testament is not what church members have available to them. The Christianity created by Jesus demanded MUCH more of the decision-making process required of people than is required today, making it easily possible for a half-converted person to be considered a Christian by today’s churches. And, every bit as important, that Christianity created by Jesus GAVE much more to those who went through HIS decision-making process (as outlined in the Sermon on the Mount [Matthew 5-7]). HIS version of Christianity also leads to the wonderful promise of experiencing your own Pentecostal filling by the Holy Spirit. It is His wonderful, satisfying Presence that makes the Biblical solutions more than able to live with. Apart from His experienced presence, the burdens of the New Testament disciplines are NOT easy and light (“For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” – Matthew 11:30). To attempt to live out the Way of Christ without the EXPERIENCED entrance and strong guiding Presence of the Pentecostal Spirit turns Christianity into something FAR more burdensome than the Law of Moses!
The restoration of biblical disciplines (marital or any other kind!) absolutely requires the restoration of biblical Christianity, a restoration that restores what is required before being baptized into Christ, what is required after being baptized into Christ, and what is offered after being baptized into Christ. Contemporary Christianity, whether Catholic, Evangelical, Mainline or Pentecostal, is NOT that Christianity!
Reed Merino, The Way of Jesus Restored. For more information: http://www.wayofjesusrestored.org/index.html