Is divorce a sin. Or is remarriage a sin? Could it be both or neither? What does the Bible say about Christian divorce and remarriage? Critics often cite statistics indicating Christian divorce rates mirror that of the general population. However, a distinction must be made between those who are serious about following Jesus and those who are not. Glenn Stanton asserts, “Many people who seriously practice a traditional religious faith – be it Christian or other – have a divorce rate markedly lower than the general population.”

The Barna Group reported, the  Christian population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced are Catholics (28%) and evangelicals (26%). Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce. . .” It is apparent that people who are serious about practicing their faith are somewhat more committed to a lifetime union. Yet, even that group falls far short of God’s expectations for marriage.

The sentence, “God hate’s divorce” may be found in about half of the translations of Malachi 2:16, which establishes a pretty good case for just how he feels on the subject. God only allowed it, according to Jesus, because of their “hardness of heart” (Matthew 19:8). The plan from the beginning was for marriage between one man and one woman to be a lifelong commitment; one not to be entered into or ended lightly.

Many Christian marriage ceremonies include the words from Genesis 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” ((NIV) See also Ephesians 5:31 and Mark 10:8.) Malachi reiterated God’s position in an address to husbands who capriciously sued for divorce. Women, of his time and even much later when Jesus spoke on the subject, had little or no say in the matter. Obviously, times have changed. Women may be self-sufficient. And wives are not considered a husband’s possession under the law.

Divorce may have been permitted under Jewish law, but Jesus left no doubt that it violated God’s original intent. The New Testament teaches both the person who initiates the divorce as well as the person he or she remarries is guilty of the sin of adultery. A person unwillingly being divorced is considered a “victim of adultery” unless his or her sexual misconduct prompted it.

In his Sermon on the Mount, which was addressed specifically to his followers, Jesus proclaimed,  “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32 | NIV) The gender differentiation is a reflection of the prevailing culture, rather than Jesus advocating unequal treatment of women.The thought here is the couple is still married in God’s eyes. The two remain one flesh. And followers of Jesus are held to a higher standard.

Later, in response to the Pharisees who asked if divorce was permissible for any reason, Jesus expanded on his original response, “. . . at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:4-6, 9 | NIV)

Luke quoted Jesus as saying, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Luke 16:18 | NIV) Notice that Luke omitted the “sexual immorality” condition. Perhaps it was because he assumed his readers already knew that was a valid reason, since Mark was likely the source of some of Luke’s material. Jesus, in effect, declared the writ of divorce ineffective in protecting Jews and Christians, alike, from breaking the seventh commandment, “You shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14 | NIV). (Please see also Mark 10:2-12 and 1Corinthians 7:10-11.)

Some sincere Christians believe that the appropriate remedy is for the first couple to divorce their new spouse(s) and remarry. I disagree. In fact it was prohibited in Old Testament times. (See Deuteronomy 24:1-4) This is especially the case should one party may not be inclined to do so. Even more problematic is the unfair penalty imposed on the second spouse, especially if he or she was not previously married. They then become true “victims of adultery.”

Setting aside the practical difficulties, such as children, inherent in divorcing a second spouse and returning to the original, ignores the very heart of the gospel—God’s grace and forgiveness. Our God forgives and reconciles to himself all who repent. When others are involved, undoing mistakes may be more harmful than leaving it with God.

I am admittedly making an argument from biblical silence in concluding divorce severs a marriage without sin as long as believing parties remain unmarried. If divorce, alone, broke the Seventh Commandment, God would never have allowed it. Furthermore, it appears that the act of remarriage constitutes the sin of adultery.

God’s love for us is stronger than his feelings about divorce. Making it right with God requires repenting of the sin that resulted from remarriage and committing to make the second marriage last a lifetime. The New Testament is full of passages of Scripture relating to repentance, reconciliation, and forgiveness.

In the interest of space we’ll consider only three, beginning with 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (NIV) Paul reminds we are saved by God’s grace through faith in Jesus. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9 | NIV)

God’s grace makes it right, not anything else we might do. Finally, from the apostle John again, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.” (1 John 2:1-3 | NIV)

Marriages disintegrate for a host of reasons. Where abuse, addiction or abandonment is the cause, a strong case may be made for separation, if not dissolution in the interest of safety and security. Remarriage is considered by some to be willful sin. But, technically, isn’t all sin willful?

People do not normally leave a difficult marriage in the expectation of remarriage. Life-long celebacy is the biblical standard, but should they find another believing person to love, marrying, it seems, would be preferable to cohabitation. Remarriage ought not be viewed as being different from any other intentional sin. However, repentance of the sin of remarriage is necessary for God’s forgiveness. And that marriage must be considered indissoluble.

Repentant, remarried couples have no reason for shame. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1-2). The take-away from Scripture is marriage should be as permanent as a tattoo. And, if God remains at the center of it, unlike a tattoo, it will become more beautiful with the passage of time.

Glenn Stanton, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce-rate-in-the-church-as-high-as-the-world/

Barna Group, http://www.barna.com/research/new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released/)